Go to a place where you will not be interrupted and where you will not interrupt anyone (including cats, dogs or other pets). You may want to take with you water, a pillow, facial tissue and, if you think it would be helpful or necessary, also photograph(s) of the person(s) with whom you need to have the emotional release session. It is better to not eat during the session or for 2-3 hours or more before the session (other than possibly a piece of fruit). Visualize the face of a person with whom you have an unresolved conflict or issue. If there are several individuals, it is usually best to start with non-relatives then move to distant relatives and finish with close relatives. It is best to imagine how they appeared at the time when your emotion with them started (even if you knew them for years afterwards). Once you can see their face (or if you cannot visualize them, you may want to look at their photograph), express to them, with as strong emotion as you can manage, everything that you need to say, being totally uncensored, shouting if you can.
Allow yourself to fully experience the emotions you are expressing. You may want to stomp your feet, hit the pillow (careful not to harm yourself), cry, tremble or even scream the things that you need to say. Take as much time as you need to express it all and to process what you are feeling. When you are finished with the first person, it is advisable to repeat this process with each additional person with whom you have an unresolved issue or conflict. Preferably in one session, try to deal with all of the individuals with whom you have anger (even those now deceased) starting with those to whom you are not related, then the more distant relatives, then spouse, ex-spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings and then biological parents, foster parents, adopted parents, step parents and other parent substitutes. If you can’t remember someone’s face & don’t have a picture of them, imagine what they looked like. For anyone with whom you had multiple episodes of anger over several years, picture them at each one of their ages (one at a time) when you were angry at them as you emote toward them about the events at each of those ages. Shouting usually helps to release the anger more thoroughly, especially if there is no one nearby enough to judge what you need to shout. Be sure to shout at those who hurt any of your loved ones also. You can shout into the pillow you brought with you, if you are concerned that you will be heard by someone.
Do not forget to express anger/frustration toward yourself (for doing and saying stupid things in the past or for failing to do and failing to say things that you wish you had said and done). Also express anger/frustration toward your body (especially if you have been physically ill and/or unable to do the things you wanted to do with your life because of illness or other health issues or choices you made). Visualize yourself (as if looking at yourself in a mirror at the youngest age when you were angry at yourself) and shout at your body and mind if you feel the need. Then visualize yourself in the mirror at the next age when you were angry at yourself and shout & emote again. Continue seeing yourself in the mirror at each age you were angry at yourself, shouting & emoting each time until you can’t think of another time when you were angry at yourself. If you have been angry with God in the past, recognize that your anger was clearly misdirected, in which case, after you have shouted-at and fully-forgiven yourself and all other humans, you should ask God to forgive you for your misdirected anger toward Him.
If a person with advanced neurodegenerative disease or other physically-incapacitating conditions can shout but can’t easily go elsewhere to shout, they can shout into a pillow so that no one else can hear & understand WHAT they are needing to shout. If a patient with physical limitations cannot shout with their voice, they can still get benefit by imagining themselves shouting as they go through the frustrating people and circumstances in their mind. They should try to make sounds, if they can, because the vibration of the body by making sounds helps to release the trapper cellular memories from each cell of the body.
Once you feel there are no more emotions to express towards yourself or others, choose to forgive yourself and then each person you shouted at or emoted over, one at a time, while again visualizing YOUR face (at different ages) and each other person’s face, with your eyes closed. Once you can visualize a person’s face, speak their name, preferably out loud (or into a pillow if you are concerned about being heard by someone), saying something like the following: “I forgive you consciously and subconsciously for everything you have done or failed to do, for everything you have said or failed to say, that has caused any anger, frustration, or pain in me or in anyone that I care about.” Do this forgiveness process with every individual toward whom you have had anger or frustration (even if they are deceased). Don’t forget to forgive yourself first. Choose to be grateful that you have been able to release your emotions toward yourself and others and that you’ve been able to forgive yourself and others.
Holding onto anger toward someone usually causes MUCH more injury to you and your body than to the individual toward whom you are angry. Choose to stop hurting yourself by choosing to forgive those who have angered you. Set yourself free. You may have to forgive someone daily for a long time before you feel that all unforgiveness is resolved (especially if that person is still doing things to you or to your loved ones that anger or frustrate you). If you believe in God, you will know that the forgiveness is completed when you can pray to God that the individual in question will be blessed by God physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, financially, etc. without yourself feeling any uncomfortable feelings.
As a last step to end this session, individuals who believe in God and are also inclined to pray, have found benefit from praying something like the following: “God, please forgive me for all the anger and/or frustration I have had toward you God (if I had misdirected anger), toward myself and toward these other people (and/or the organizations that they may represent). God please remove all the roots of anger and frustration that are in me and replace all those roots with your love, joy and peace. Thank you God, for hearing and answering my prayer.”