Go to a place where you will not be interrupted and where you will not interrupt anyone (including cats, dogs or other pets). You may want to take with you water, a pillow, facial tissue and photograph(s) of the person(s) with whom you need to have the emotional release session, but it is better to not eat during the session or for 2-3 hours before the session (other than possibly a piece of fruit). Visualize the face of a person with whom you have an unresolved conflict or issue. If there are several individuals, it is usually best to start with non-relatives then move to distant relatives and finish with close relatives. It is best to imagine how they appeared at the time when your emotion with them started (even if you knew them for years before that time or afterwards). Once you can see their face (or if you cannot visualize them, you may want to look at their photograph), express to them, with as strong emotion as you can manage, everything that you need to say, being totally uncensored.
Allow yourself to fully experience the emotions you are expressing. You may want to stomp your feet, hit the pillow (careful not to harm yourself), cry, tremble or even scream the things that you need to say. Take as much time as you need to express it all and to process what you are feeling. When you are finished with the first person, it is advisable to repeat this process with each additional person with whom you have an unresolved issue or conflict. Preferably in one session, try to deal with all of the individuals with whom you have anger (even those now deceased) starting with those to whom you are not related, then the more distant relatives, then spouse, ex-spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings and then biological parents, foster parents, adopted parents, step parents and other parent substitutes. Shouting usually helps to release the anger more thoroughly and there is no one nearby to judge what you have to shout. Be sure to shout at those who hurt any of your loved ones also.
Do not forget to express anger/frustration toward yourself (for doing and saying stupid things in the past or for failing to do and failing to say things that you wish you had said and done). Also express anger/frustration toward your body (especially if you have been physically ill and/or unable to do the things you wanted to do with your life because of illness or other physical issues). Visualize yourself (as if looking at yourself in a mirror at the youngest age when you were angry at yourself) and shout at your body and mind if you feel the need. Then visualize yourself in the mirror at the next age when you were angry at yourself and shout & emote again. Continue seeing yourself in the mirror at each age you were angry at yourself, shouting & emoting each time until you can’t think of another time when you were angry at yourself. If you believe in God and you feel the need to shout at God, then do so.
If a person with advanced neurodegenerative disease or other physically-incapacitating conditions can shout but can’t easily go elsewhere to shout, they can shout into a pillow so that no one else can hear & understand WHAT they are needing to shout. If a patient with physical limitations cannot shout with their voice, they can still get benefit by imagining themselves shouting as they go thru the frustrating people and circumstances in their mind.
Once you feel there are no more emotions to express towards yourself or others, choose to forgive yourself (and God if you shouted at God) and then all the other individuals, one at a time, while again visualizing your face at different ages and each other person’s face with your eyes closed. Once you can visualize a person’s face, speak their name aloud and forgive them aloud saying something like the following: “I forgive you consciously and subconsciously for everything you have done or failed to do, for everything you have said or failed to say, that has caused any anger, frustration, or pain in me or in anyone that I care about.” Do this forgiveness process with every individual toward whom you have had anger or frustration (even if they are deceased). Don’t forget to first forgive yourself (and God if you were angry with God). Choose to be grateful that you have been able to release your emotions toward yourself and others and that you’ve been able to forgive yourself and others.
Holding onto anger toward someone usually causes much more injury to you and your body than to the individual toward whom you are angry. Choose to stop hurting yourself by choosing to forgive those who have angered you. Set yourself free. You may have to forgive someone daily for a long time before you feel that all unforgiveness is resolved (especially if that person is still doing things to you or your loved ones that anger or frustrate you). If you believe in God, you will know that the forgiveness is completed when you can pray to God that the individual in question be blessed by God physically, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, financially, etc. without yourself sensing any uncomfortable feeling.
As a last step to end this session, some individuals who believe in God and also are inclined to pray, have found benefit from praying something like the following: “God, please forgive me for all the anger and/or frustration I have had against myself and these others (and/or the organizations that they may represent). God please remove all the roots of anger and frustration that are in me and replace all those roots with your love, joy and peace. Thank you God, for hearing and answering my prayer.”
